Sunday, 27 June 2010

Oh, alright then.

So, basically, what happened was. I was sat here in the press tent and this text message came through from a number I didn't recognise.

"report to security guard at Pyramid stage"

So, I did just that, and was ushered through the gates and I was beginning to panic that they'd heard about the fact I know three chords on the guitar and they needed me to stand in as the lead guitarist for a band I hadn't heard of, or something.

I'm led backstage, and into this room, and I swear to God, Slash is there. He tells me that he's been reading the blog and thinks it's brilliant, so he asked the press guys to find out who I was so he could give me his congratulations. So I'm literally just this gibbering wreck, because's SLASH, and he's right in front of me know? Slash? Right?

So, he's still all hyped up from the show and stuff, but he gives me this smile and tells me to sit down and we chat for a bit. And it seems like we're getting on ok and everything and eventually, I manage to say something other than ' -es' and 'omigod, you're Slash' and we start talking about music and stuff. The conversation goes on for a little bit, and I'm thinking 'omigod, Slash, I can't wait to Blog this', and then he moves up a bit closer, pushes a strand of hair behind my ear, turns those eyes on me, and says:

"You know, this marriage thing could work."

I responded with a very impressive "...lkjr?"

He moves in a bit closer again, and suddenly the air is full of words, about how we can just get on his tour bus, then to the airport and then straight to America and we can start a new life with him in his mansion in LA. He says how he's never connected with anyone like me, that it's not often you find brains and beauty as well as a biting wit in the same package. Now he's found me, he can't bear to let me slip through his fingers.


"Does that sound good?"

All I can do is nod.

"I'll just go and get my laptop and-"

He shakes his head, and pressed a finger against my lips.

"No laptops."

"But the blog.."

"No blogging."

Well. What else could I do? I pushed his hand away, firmly.

"I'm sorry, Slash. But that would be remiss of me," I say. He looks crestfallen and goes to speak.

"No. Don't say anything. It would never work out between us. I have readers that I can't let down, and the blog is my life."

He nods, through his tears.

"I understand."

And just like that, I walked out on his life.

He'll always hold a special place in my heart, but.. honestly. Give up the blog? He asks too much.*

*This entry may not be entirely factually accurate. 


Anonymous said...

Course it's not accurate. You'd never choose us over Slash.

bloodbank said...

Accurate my backside of course its true and you lived happy ever after and got to live in America