Friday, 14 June 2013

Mad things I have bought for Glastonbury 2013

Planning for Glastonbury is a notoriously tricky affair. You have to take the British summertime into consideration, which means I've set aside everything from suncream, fake tan, sunglasses and flip-flops to thermals, a fleece-lined hoodie and all the cheap Thinsulate stuff I could hoover up off eBay.

I think my preparations are just about as good as they're going to be at this point.

The tent has been duly erected in the garden, and doesn't appear to have been eaten by enterprising moths or lost in a house move. All the various poles, bits of waterproof stuff and ropes seem to be in attendance. Flawless victory!

The 2010 mud has been scraped off, probably a tad pointless, but I managed to ease it away from looking like something that you'd find in a pot you'd buy in the Body Shop.  It's still got rocking a slightly worn, a little grubby look, that of the seasoned veteran festival tent. Very cool.

But I always end up panicking and buying stuff that even as I'm hitting the 'pay now' button, I know I won't use in a million years.

This year, that list includes:

Yes. Shampoo caps. A genius device which you pop on your head, massage around a bit, and apparently when you take it off, you're left with clean, fresh tresses. This seemed like the best idea I had ever heard of at the time, but I'm reasonably sure that when I'm potentially wading around in mud up to my thighs and wearing a bin-bag, people aren't going to be judging me on what my hair is doing.


Oh God. This /again/. I got suckered into it last time. I'm sure it's great stuff, but a) tents are not exactly designed for faffing around and scrubbing away at your unmentionables at the best of time, let alone when I'm paranoid about the shadows and silhouettes on my tent, which I'll be sharing with my sister anyway.  It seems unlikely she'd appreciate me trying to cleanse my armpits in front of her.


Don't get me wrong. I /know/ tent pegs are a smart buy. But 10 for a £1? Chances are I might as well try to keep the tent in place with paperclips.


Times three.


I don't /know/. I just whipped myself up into a buying frenzy and.. behold! Toothbrushes with toothpaste already on them, which you throw away after use. This is an unnecessary extravagance and I am deeply ashamed of myself.


A repeat mistake from 2010. Oh, on paper it's great. Lighter than a bedroll, more comfortable. Built-in pillow. Plus, when you blow them up, you get lightheaded and it's cheaper than a few pints of cider. But last year's sprung a leak and I ended up having to borrow a self-inflating bedroll thing that I couldn't work out how to inflate. I really hope this year's lilo is made of sterner stuff than the last, frankly rather pathetic thing.

Still. Might come in useful if it rains. I can float away to safety.

Oh well.  At least it's good for the economy. Or something.