Tuesday, 18 May 2010


The fence is going up! The fence is going up! The long drops are getting a fresh coat of paint! Rolf Harris is on the bill! Forecasters are banging on about a long, hot summer! The Wurzels are releasing a new album! The tickets have sold out! Three times!

Unknown to me, around the time I just happened to notice that the local supermarket had vats of antibacterial hand gel on special offer, preparations were beginning for the 40th Glastonbury Festival of Contemporary and Performing Arts, or the Pilton Pop festival as we call it down yere, or 'Glasto' as everyone else, who is clearly too busy to add on an extra two syllables tends to call it.

Of course, an overexcited Michael Eavis already seems to be preparing for the 2011 bash, dropping subtle hints tha Coldplay will be on the bill, and I've already heard a rumour about another headliner for that year.

..seems weird to be speculating on headliners already.  Just wrong.

And I need some advice. I'm in a bit of a dilemma on the Welly boot front.

Now, traditionally, I've shunned the expensive/pretty/pattered wellies in favour of a right proper pair of green farmers ones. They might not be pretty (although I did manage to co-ordinate them with a skirt last year, and was ridiculously proud of myself for doing so. I suppose after three days of mud and disgusting hair it's the little things that matter) but they get the job done.

Waterproof? Check.
Cheap? Check.
Attractive looking? ..errm..
Comfortable? ....nnnnggg.

People really don't appreciate just how much walking and standing around is involved at the festival. Last year on the first night I'd done enough walking that the weight of my sleeping bag was too much pressure on my feet and kept me awake just as much as the constant groups of drunken revellers foraging for cans of Stella in nearby tents.

But after being forced to commando-crawl my way across the office rather than make a torturous, 15 metre trek to the printer, I'm seriously considering shelling out on a pair of wellies. Sadly, I just have to resign myself to the fact that my wellies/hiking socks/gel insoles combo just can't cut it anymore.

There are of course, two problems with this.

Money, or lack thereof. Well..not as much lack thereof, but more not wanting to spend more than a tenner on a pair of rubber boots, I'll only wear once a year ranks up there pretty highly.

Secondly, of course, there's the weather dilemma. And already forecasters are jumping up and down and promising us a long, hot summer, which makes shelling out for wellies even more of a painful dilemma.

But on the other hand, that Tuesday morning when I was still crawling around the office rather than put my oh-so-painful feet anywhere near the floor, I'd probably have paid a small fortune for something that would've taken away the pain.

Decisions, decisions.

I'm leaning towards a pair of Crocs. Yes, I know, I know, I know. Crocs. Bleh. Clumpy, brightly coloured footwear worn by hyperactive people who claim they're the most 'fantabulous' set of shoes they've ever owned.

But. But!

They're lightweight. They're according to everyone who's ever owned a pair of Crocs, the most comfy shoes you can buy.

They've got special circulation thingies and..well, antibacterial and that can only be a good thing. Let's face it, feet are pretty gross at the best of times, before you start factoring in 'mud', 'no shower', 'blazing sunshine' and 'people mistaking my boots for a toilet' and it's a pretty good a pretty good selling point. Has anyone out there got a pair of Croc wellies? Can anyone suggest anything else? You know, something that doesn't make me look like a Yogalates-addicted yummy-mummy-who-wants-to-express-her-individuality-through-the-medium-of-mass-produced-shoes?

..oh, wait. That's Steve Tyler.

So, anyway. What kind of welly defines me as a festival goer?


Tom Stephenson said...

Hello Lolly! Nice to see you. I'll read all the shit above tomorrow - I'm knackered tonight. XXX

Tom Stephenson said...

I'm knackered tonight too. Maybe tomorrow.

Tom Stephenson said...

Right, I've read it now, and was greatly entertained! Crocs are ok on women and children, but I don't think any man over the age of 18 should be seen wearing them in public.

I bought my grand daughter a pair of red Hunters for Glasto a couple of years ago. They looked great in the box, but soon ended up covered in mud. Once Kate Moss was seen wearing them, sales went through the roof. Sad.